Farewell is always the hardest. I hate bidding goodbye... especially if it's for the last time i'll ever see that person again. I'd rather just go away quietly, without bidding farewell to him or her at all... This way, I won't experience any pain or sadness that bidding farewell for the last time would give.

Well just thinking... sian.

Got dismissed from SMT early today... :) Our teacher in charge went for the Musical rehearsal... so haha. We went to bedok south there to drink pao pao cha as usual... 5 of us drank different flavours. Argh... getting infuriating just by thinking of tmr... Sec 1s to 3s get to HAVE FREE DAY TMR. And sec 4s and 5s have to come to school as usual... staying till 3:45pm. Sianz. Have a chemistry test... Hai. Gonna study tonight.

Sianz... Today..... we never talk at all. :(

Forgot what i said in e previous post...

Look forward with hope then.

But you are always ignoring me haix...

Today my body is aching :(

Lucky ..... I got out of the hole before I got trapped even deeper and deeper. 2 weeks isn't long, yet it isn't short. Just enough for me to like cry now.

I don't like forcing answers but sometimes you really made me no choice.

I guess we'll never talk again... for ur final decision will always not be me. So it's like i shld not put too much hope tt u'll choose me in the end. Just the same thought like a month ago... How do guys actually think? Do they even have the word 'love' in their head? How do their brain work?

It's always the same for me... this vicious cycle. When would it stop? It's getting frustrating that i could have a mental breakdown. Dang! :( Why did you have to start talking to me just becuz u broke up with ............. ?? You could had just left me to remourse over the fact that i made a mistake on valentines on someone else. Probably by now i would have had neutral feeling. Neither happy nor sad. That's what i like. haha. Now how long am i gonna feel sad? Or do i have to find someone to like again to forget?? zzz...

I am such a pessimist. But being optimistic about things would sometimes be worse than being a pessimist. It's like getting ur hopes way high up and in the end it didn't get ur way so you'll fall way down low and ouch!* However, being a pessimist would meant always depress + sad. Always expecting the baddest negative things. That's what i do. Who can change me? Hai. Being me is so pathetic... I have no idea what to do to make myself a better person. Probably having a very heavy bad PMS now lol. It's been so long and i hate this period of all times.

I know i'll regret what i did today. But what can i do? it's been done. You don't even feel a thing, only probably hatred on me. We're always on and off. True, ya? If what you said was true... where ... we always still come back even when we're not speaking, then probably.... hai

Guess you won't even be reading all this ... but i still wrote. for the sake of letting all out and make myself feel better. But one thing for sure, i really felt very very very happy... especially on last Thursday night. But it's over. Give myself a smile of relief?

Your indecisive words...

is hurting me like crazy.

Don't think you know, do u?? Hai.

Today was kind of really a bad day. My class let down Miss Chia alot... that she broke down and cried infront of the class during Contact time. Hai. Just can't help it when there are always slackers in my class... I hate it.

Here to write again. Yesterday stayed home the whole day. My pri-schmate asked me out but ...... My mum didn't allowed me to go out... cuz i went to Escape and followed Florence to the dental the following day which my mum had make a big big big fuss over it. :( But nvm. Okay le. Haha... Guess i'll be home the whole day today.

So much emotional stirring going in my heart and mind now. Sian.

And some things i can't write it out here. :(

And my dad is smoking now........ so smelly. bleh.

I'm Finally A Ranger!!!! :) with lv1 strafe lol... I luv it <3>

Back from Malaysia Genting on Wednesday lolx. As usual... played lan only. Then watched one live performance on Magic and stunts de. My bro don't wanna go Outdoor Theme Park with me. So when i reached SG, i went to escape theme park with few of my classmates. haha... Had lots of fun. :) Lazy to write details le... yawn. My iPeace finally levelled up after a month or more. lol. I'm gonna do my 3rd job now. Hehe!

I kept hearing this sad song... lol

Forever Its been hours seems like days

Since you went away

And all I do is check the screen

To see if you're okay .

You don't answer when I phone

Guess you wanna be left alone

So Im sending you my heart My soul

And this is what I'll say .

E-mail my heart

And say our love will never die

And I, I know you're out there

And I know that you still care

Email me back

And say our love will stay alive

Forever ... Email my heart

I can see you in my mind

Comin on the line

And opening this letter

That I've sent a hundred times

Here's a picture That us two

I look so good on you

And cant you please forgive me

For the hurt I put you through

:) Hi! Made a big realisation last night and friday. Mental makeover? Haha. I learnt how much i took things for granted, like my parents <3 Sorry... I realised there were others who are much worst off than me. Like single parent child, poor financially etc. Last night when most of our parents came for the talk, lotsa touching things occured. Some of us shared our family problems infront of the everyone, expressing their love and apology. I didnt though ... :( My classmate - welsonn, though his parents didn't come (parent in fact, for his mum was gone)... he still stood up infront of everyone us and told us his story... It was very touching. He told us that he loves his father... and he knows his father loves him too. He's the biggest slacker in class, but i can see he's like the toughest of all too... hope he changes... hope he could do well in his Os... :) and everyone else in Temasek... And Phoebe and Honghui went up to talk too... hahax. thx for being my best friends. Love ya! PS: Florence and Clara and kat too :) Hmmm, basically practically all of us were brainwashed. Wished my brothers could like go through some of this talk too.. esp my elder brother... And make them realise how much our parents suffered for us. Especially my mum. haix. There was this part in the camp where everyone is to write a short note of appreciation to everyone in the class... Although there weren't enough time to write for everyone, but every notes that i recieved really made a soothing to my heart. Hee... A word of praise may seem small but it could do wonders. lastly... The perfect answer to what life is about... is - participating a 100% in everything. Always be like an eagle - a leader. Not a sheep - a victim, brainless follower... There were many other inspiring things that I've learnt... but it is now stuck in my head. I cant get it out and write it here... I'll always remember this camp. Sort of like change my attitude towards my parents + my emotional life. And lastly motivating me to study. Haha... This camp was really astonishing and surprising.. I didn't expect it would make such an impact to me and to the rest of us. hee. PpS: TOUGH TIMES DONT LAST; TOUGH MAN DO! haha... message: you've changed alot... seriously. you're very much much much lamer... and i think u can be a motivator too now that u're learning some 'physchological thingys'. talk so much facts of life.. like Female le. haha. but tts good u noe. just dun be gay. all the best in everything... esp ur business course. you know who you are. Hehe! OH YA... LAST of the Last - Thank you Mr Ramesh and Mr Stuart Tan for motivating us. And all the teachers who had took so much effort to make us go through this motivational camp. ty ty ty ...

muahahax... i'm motivated. The trainer left us with a thought on 'Life is about .......'

Im still figuring out. By me - A roller coaster ride full of ups and downs?

And by edwin - a long journey with obstacles to make us be a wiser one. (CHIM)

By some wise facts - Life is full of wonderful possibilities, and each day is precious.

blah blah blah... There were two trainers today... One was Ramesh Muthusamy Rajawadeversamy lol !!!! And the other is Stuart Tan (Little). Weird names huh? I loove the indian trainer, he really entertained all of us and gave all sorts of expressions ranging from retarded to act smart etc etc etc etc etc! We just kept laughing and laughing i tot my mouth would hurt. hahax! He said most of us usually would say 'Life SUCKS' and he interpreted it as Life is a Vacuum Machine, sucks everything up. hahaz! Laugh n laugh n laugh. Then came the serious part by Stuart where he told us about some past incidents of what happened to his friends. Mostly disastrous and horrific things... caused by bad habits like speeding on the road, carelessness etc. Must get rid of all my bad habits!!!! :) Easier said than done -_-

im motivated to study well for my Os. Haha. This motivation camp is not over.. im certain im not wasting my time. Looking forward to tomorrow and Saturday! Hahax

. It was a long day. Sitting in the AVT from 8am to 9.30pm. lalala... Butt pain. But fun! Yay... Buaiz

WHY HELP ANIMALS Like us, animals have biological needs and experience pain, stress and discomfort. Many are intelligent and feel complex emotions like joy, happiness, depression and distress. Studies show that they have family bonds and feel true compassion for each other. But what they can't do is speak for themselves. So humans feel justified in treating them as mere objects. By pretending that animals don't suffer, that they can't feel pain, that they have no real need or desire for freedom, it is easier for people to use them purely as commodities and ignore their suffering. So every year billions of them are captured, imprisoned, neglected, abused and slaughtered for human ends. They are used for everything from entertainment and sports to consumer product testing and food. If animals don't have a say in their treatment, then it is up to all caring human beings to give them a voice, speak up on their behalf and end their abuse.

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A sad story... lolx. My Oral presentation is gonna be on

Recently, our school organised an event for all sec 4s and 5s - Career Guidance. Which includes of talks from different school (Poly/JCs) and their courses, a trip to Suntec Exhibition Hall for a ... what ah? Career thingy and Private Universities which offer different courses. And a trip to SMU!! It certainly rocks and I hope I can be in the Accounting school of SMU after I graduate from JC or Poly. The Seminar room in SMU is really very high-tech. And the whole campus is really big. :) I highly doubt I can make it to JC though. Hahax.

Skipped CO practice yesterday. :( Cuz I really don't feel like going :/ LoL. And this morning's Math remedial is really SlAcky. I did finish 1 and half question on Circular Measure then go see PB play her guitar ler. And something really amazed me - James (My classmate) actually could pluck the guitar real well... hahaha! Like an expert. So wonderful... Pluck and sing :O Followed by visiting the school's hall piano and pb strummed her guitar while Florence played the beautiful piece of Stairway To Heaven's theme song. So woooonderful! lol. Music day it is.

It just dawned on me that I'm actually quite old now. lol. SIXTEEN! But i still look like a small young girl :@:@:@:@ #######